Perspective should change us…when we were once naive to how we were living, but then come to understand or understand in a new way – we should change, right?! I wish perspective could stay as fresh as when it first illuminates the need to think about things differently in life. But it usually wears off when normal routine kicks in. How do we stay that raw, that changed [in our minds at least]? I believe that in that moment, our most vulnerable state of mind – we can make decisions and commitments that can truly changes us to be the best individual possible on this earth. I have to have hope that these instances of change happen enough in my life to grow, mature, and be a more loving individual.

Today, I gained perspective…on life, the need for love, the frailty of life, how we are not in control. And nothing I do, no matter how significant, can change a student’s life…only Christ is the hope they need. Frank is on suicide watch – he has been swallowing pencils, they don’t have any other way of hurting themselves. Some try to use their shoe strings, so they get these orange slip on shoes they call, “Bob Barker’s”. They even use erasers to burn their skin, until staff find out. Home-made tattoos using a pencil lead are common, they will even bang their head against their bed or wall just to feel the rush of pain, the adrenaline rush is their fix to fulfilling their fix, at one time on the “outs” they used drugs, alcohol, or sex. They are in a room with only their very deppressing thoughts and a staff person checks on them every 2 minutes. The most a psychologist does for the kid is talk about their self-worth…nothing about living for a higher calling. This calling that echos in eternity with a future, living for more than yourself...living for Him who has changed our lives forever.

I am helpless, I can do nothing, I can’t say anything that will help…so I pray, I ask for Christ to give peace the we can not comprehend why we feel it. I ask for comfort, as if God was in the same room, wrapping His arms around him. I can’t…I can’t even hug him, I can’t pat him on the back…I have to stand outside the door, cold talking through a shatterproof glass window. There is nothing I can do. We are not in control of this life, He is and that should comfort us…that should change things – perspective, it should change us. It SHOULD change us!

None of us have it all together, and when we start to think like we do something usually happens in life to show us we don't. We are never in control of our lives...we all mess up. The above picture is of the snow storm that hit our town this past month. The weather is something we are not in control of...many travelers were stranded away from their families on the most traveled holiday of the year. Not in control of their own destinations or itineraries. But for me, to not be in control is relieving because I know the One who is in control. I thought I'd give you a snap shot of what I do at the detention center, if you want to be caught up on WEM you can visit www.experientialministry.com. As I walk in the facility every week, I hear kid's hopeless stories after hopeless stories. They are not in control of their lives and now they are surely not in control of their immediate future, that is up to the courts. Many of these kids are character deficient where they can manipulate situations in their best interests with staff and the facility and me. They have the perception that they are in control, but when you hear their stories, they begin to unfold lives that desperately need God to be the leader of their life. One kid was put in isolation, a empty room about 4 feet by 4 feet, he was threatening suicide and knew how he would do it...the thing is he was crying out so much for attention and his life is so screwed up, he knew that was the only way to get someones undivided attention without having to share. He is so starved for love...love that only Christ can offer, heal, and bring transformation into his life. I talk to so many kids, simply offering them hope, whether we are meeting one-on-one or playing basketball in the gym during their free recreation time. We are all messed up and hurting whether we know Christ or not, but those of us that allow Him to have control...have all the hope in the world!