I've been working with a lot of gang members lately...listening to them and trying to understand why they "bang", a term they use when they are part of a gang. Recently I was having a conversation with the son of one of the originals of a prominent gang, which means this young man's dad started this gang here in Denver. He doesn't live with his dad and feel s like he has betrayed him, but loves his mom and doesn't want to disappoint her. If he lives the way his mom wants him to live he will not follow his dad's "way of life" and feels he will be letting his dad down. He longs for his dad to be proud of him and love him, but that means following the gang life, there is "family" there too he says. But he loves his mom and doesn't want to disappoint her! He wants to be himself but has a reputation on the streets and in jail already as the son of...he struggles between good and evil moment by moment everyday! I struggle between good and evil moment by moment every day! I love my family, pictured above are my sons! I love them so much that I will raise them as Christ wants me to raise them, wanting the best for THEM, not having them live for me their dad, but for Christ who is the ultimate reason to live!

Have you ever been told you are not wanted? With a shrug and no emotion, (Nate) told me his parents had both said that to him. I'm devastated inside for him, he has put his walls, not feeling, not showing how he feels for fear of being rejected again. I lean over the table we are sitting across from each other and say, "God wants you, He loves you, he'll never leave you, he hurts when you hurt, and he longs to heal all of your pain!" Tears flow from once a hard heart, but the Holy Spirit has been working on his life long before I came into it. My Father wants to redeem all those that are defeated, broken, and hard-hearted! (Nate) has been pushing others way for fear of being hurt again. It will take time for him to trust again and he really doesn't even trust our friendship that has just started and doesn't want to get too close for fear that I will let him down. I let him know right up front that I will let him down, but his faith is not in humans but in Christ. My best friend, Jesus, has never let me down. Even when my perspective is messed up, Jesus brings me back to the truth that there is nothing I can do to make him love me more or less. He loves me because God first loved me! I cheapen grace when I think it is what I do that makes God love me. (Nate) has started a new journey of not being the victim of his parent's words, but walking in freedom of Christ's words!

The picture above, a friend of mine took on his canoe trip, is the ultimate visual of peace and tranquility. All the young people I work with have chaos and the picture of their life is painful, volatile, and devestating. I've been reading Mother Teresa's biography lately and she dedicated her live to the sick, the orphans, and the widows. 9 out of 10 young men have not had a father in their life or a uninvolved father. The young ladies that are incarcerated have been left by boyfriends and have been widowed in a way, left alone to take care of a baby. We are broken individuals in need of the One who puts things back together! I'm grateful that the chaos created in young peoples lives that are incarcerated have been and continue to be transformed by the love of Christ. Thanks for being a part of this team. Continue to pray for youth in Denver and the front range of Colorado.

Climbing up the class 4 scramble, hands and feet climbing over boulders and scaling rock, as the sun is setting I'm thinking, "What did I get myself into?". We were on the second day of our trip with at risk youth from Denver and had just talked about how important it is for each one of us to learn how to love God more and love others more as a result of that love for God and from God. One of the staff had taken that opportunity to speak into a young man's life and this young person took what he said wrong and took off and was standing at the top of the cliff pictured above. On my way up I'm thinking about my life's call, my family, I'm praying for the safety of this individual. Just that afternoon another kid had been kicked in the mouth and it messed up his braces and cut his mouth pretty bad. I couldn't help but think things weren't going well. Don't we pray more when there is crisis in our lives? Or when we are absolutely at the end of our rope? Or we are very aware that we are not in control?

I get to the top and there is another peak above, but there is also two other ways to head. I stop and catch my breath and listen, I'm getting ready to yell out the young man's name and hear a sound of someone getting closer so I wait. I see him before he sees me and when he does see me I scare him unintentionally, but I don't think he expected to see me. I let him know I care about him and worried that the night on top of the cliff won't be very comfortable and we eventually head back down with light from one headlamp.

I learned a lot on this trip. Risks are a necessity to allow God to transform our lives, young people are longing to have us share God's love and show them what God's grace and mercy looks like, and you never know what God sees on the inside of these kids, but there is always hope!

The last night we are sitting around a fire and speaking life into each other. Just the other day they were fighting and arguing and tearing each other down. This night they are appreciating each other and saying how thankful they are to have gotten to know each other! I praise God for the work of Holy Spirit and the lives that continue to change for His honor and glory!

What is God asking you to risk to be more transformed by Him?

I want to serve the best I can every day. God, my wife, my kids, my job, and others! I find myself serving youth's needs a lot in the detention center. The other day a staff person of the state asked me why I serve these kids. My answer was Christ served while he walked on this earth and I want to as well. You see, Jesus is our example of how to live. One of His last acts of service was to his disciples who walked with Him on this earth for three years. He lowered Himself to a servant, doing the job of washing his guest's feet...something none of the disciples would have volunteered to do in a million years. Sometimes we have to serve in ways that others would never do. Sometimes we have to give up our desires to do what He desires. Some people call that slavery...I call it true freedom! May we live to serve today!

Frank was sitting in the corner with his back toward the rest of the kids that were serving time in jail with him. He was taking a "self time-out", it is a time that kids can ask for where they are secluded from the rest of the kids. He was wearing a black shirt, different from the green shirts because he was an upper level. Upper level status is acquired when an individual runs the program at the facility with the highest level of commitment and consistency. Also, they are positive peers to the kids and have the ability to lead. However, his attitude was poor as he sat in the corner looking at the wall hitting his forehead with the butt of his hand and clenching his fist into a ball and then opening them. His nostrils were flaring and he was not breathing normally, more short and shallow breathes through clinched teeth. I sat down in the corner with him and asked what he was thinking about. "Killing that kid!" he said as he indicates the kid by tilting his head over his shoulder in the direction where the kid was sitting. I asked why and the tears began to come. His girlfriend of three years (he is now just 16) is pregnant and is contesting that he might not be the father and wants the courts to do a DNA test. He tells me that it kills him to think that she was with another guys and when he was sharing this with a group of peers, one made an inappropriate comment that if I was Frank I would have done something to the kids I would have regretted. Frank is a big 16 year old and already wears the stress of taking care of his younger brothers, his girlfriend who was/is having his baby, and helping his mom out with paying the rent. "I just want to prove to everyone that I'm different, I want my actions to back my words up this time!" he says through his tears. Frank has come to that crisis of life and has found Christ in it. I believe in the potential of every juvenile, that through Christ they can change their lives, their family's lives, their friend's lives, and their community. There is always hope, even if your sitting in a corner, looking at the wall to preoccupied to see it!

"The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy...but I [Jesus] have come so you would have life and live it to the full!" South Africa is full of death and disease, BUT the above picture is a place where those that have been left for dead find hope! I hear stories everyday of the enemy stealing, killing, and destroying! Even as I write this I'm hurting for friends of mine that the enemy is destroying! I hate the enemy! I despise his lies and false promises! We are in a war people! Some of you may be saying, "Whoa, Gareth what got you all fired up!?" I guess it is a day that I realize that my passion has to be visible and my desire, which I believe is God's desire, is for redemption of mankind! Christ has said that he has come so we would have life and live it to the full and yet I myself and many kids I work with accept this small part of life as the best we can do! No, with Christ we can do so much more! Will I trust Him? Do I believe I'm in control or is He in control! I surrender my life to Him today, every moment of every day. I thank you Father for being in the practice of Redemption! So many lives need that today!

I've thinking about Peter's conversation with Jesus, after Jesus dies and comes back to life, when Peter is being forgiven and restored into the position of building the Church that Christ came to establish. Relationship was so important to Jesus and knew what he was doing when he spoke life and forgiveness into Peter and the potential he had and was going to fulfill being one of the founders of the Christian church. Pictured above is one of the first kids I worked with and he is standing next to my boss, Nathan Jones with Denver Area Youth for Christ. I met this young man over two years ago and heard his dream to become a contributing member of society. Those first conversations were the beginning of a relationship with Christ and the mentoring relationship Nathan has with him now. Speaking life into kids is something I want to continue to do as Christ did with Peter! As this man continues to grow with Christ, Denver Area Youth for Christ will be a support to fulfill his dreams in his relationships, the community he lives in, and his family!

I do believe that the local church is the hope of the world. After all, that is why God sent His Son, to redeem us to Himself and perpetuate that relationship over and over, making disciples of Him. But, let's redefine church, is it a place for a bunch of people who are in this spiritual journey together come and get "fed"? Is it four walls? Is it a place to get or give? Or is it a bunch of messed up people struggling to know Him better and wherever they are in life, job, relationship with others, just abiding in Christ and saying, "Surprise me, God!" and then responding as He would have us respond in love and truth? It doesn't have to have a program name to it or be represented by a parachurch or church name? Meeting with delinquents and continuing to pour into them to become disciples I find that they talk to me a lot about their "doing" and I try to talk with them about their "being". It is good to pray (they always say every night), it is good to go to church (four walled building), it is good to read the Bible, but all of that is semantics if Jesus does not transform our moment by moment thoughts, words, and actions so that we exude the very spirit of Christ with people! May we work on BEING more than DOING and out of BEING we will be THE church! Some of my fellow colleagues joke with me about what I say I do now, I've been released from organized religion to be a youth pastor to THE church not just a youth pastor at A church. The above picture is a skyline of Denver, a city where I'm serving as a youth pastor and currently serving as a chaplain with Denver Area Youth for Christ and starting up Wilderness Experiential Ministry! The church IS the hope of the world, be a part of the solution, not part of the problem!

I have found that anything beautiful has to go through some pain or difficult time, the contrast makes it more beautiful. I work with many youth that deal with pain...their drug problem, or self harming behavior, their violence, or assaultive attitude is because of pain or loss in their lives. In order for a butterfly to survive out of the cocoon they have to go through the painful process of getting out of the cocoon. When people ask me how God could be loving when they've never known their father or he was abusive or nothing goes right in the world. I simply answer that God's story is bigger than my story. And whatever pain I experience is supposed to make His story more beautiful! May God be near in your pain and as you make it through ask how He wants you to share with others, His story!